Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
