I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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