At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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