Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.

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  (727): I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused. http://tfl.nu/bje5
  Replies (24) Good night (1124) Bad night (3915)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.

  (214): View more from Texas

  kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in 10

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  (903): I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem. (214): kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night. (903): I'll be there in 10 http://tfl.nu/kykh
  Replies (19) Good night (5988) Bad night (819)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot

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  (570): six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot http://tfl.nu/fwe0
  Replies (9) Good night (3940) Bad night (718)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.

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  (517): My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance. http://tfl.nu/kmco
  Replies (18) Good night (863) Bad night (4680)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  $1 pitcher night should be outlawed.

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  (859): $1 pitcher night should be outlawed. http://tfl.nu/2dye
  Replies (38) Good night (5346) Bad night (890)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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  (307): Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding. http://tfl.nu/82eq
  Replies (10) Good night (4435) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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  (708): so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me. http://tfl.nu/mwnt
  Replies (58) Good night (14528) Bad night (1386)
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  (914): View more from New York

  still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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  (914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn
  Replies (12) Good night (1687) Bad night (4595)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.

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  (720): and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook. http://tfl.nu/6m40
  Replies (21) Good night (1216) Bad night (4932)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

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  (919): He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail http://tfl.nu/mc07
  Replies (11) Good night (1098) Bad night (2317)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.

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  (406): We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned. http://tfl.nu/5o0t
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (531)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth

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  (716): Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth http://tfl.nu/he9m
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

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  (302): Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite. (302): Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing" http://tfl.nu/v00f
  Replies (3) Good night (1138) Bad night (376)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it

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  (267): I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it http://tfl.nu/ro1j
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!

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  (317): Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard! http://tfl.nu/ozlx
  Replies (0) Good night (617) Bad night (272)

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