: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.