My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad