The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
