Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
