Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
