She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
