What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
