Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
