i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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