can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
