BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
