we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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