you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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