You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Randomize
