i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
