after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
