K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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