Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
