The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
