Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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