And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
