Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
