I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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