I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
