I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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