Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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