I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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