Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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