I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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