Life is so much better after having sex.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
