I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
