Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
