one two three fourrrrnication!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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