Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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