I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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