I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
