he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
