For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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