i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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