Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
