Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
