It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
