your room smells of hookers.
And success
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
