The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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