I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
North Korea, Best Korea!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am midnight drunk by noon
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
