AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
