Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
