He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize