Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
