Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
