There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
