He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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