fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
