would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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