was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
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