So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
