Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
