Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
